just wanted to share a story i just read. not sure if you have read it before (since it was an email). this story reminded me of one of our late night conversations just before exams about our guys being so blockheaded, and also the issue of long distance relationships. so though i'd blog it down here..

our boyfriends might not be the most romantic guy around or say the sweetest things to make us happy, but it doesn't mean they're not good boyfriends. more importantly, it doesn't mean they love us any lesser (:

Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.

"I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought the whole night with cigarette lit all the time. My feeling of disappointment was getting intense, a man who can't even express his feelings, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked:

"What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered:

"Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Lets say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both know that making you pick the flower will kill you, will you do it for me?"

He said: "I will answer you tomorrow...."

My heart just sank listening to his respond. The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy writing, underneath a glass of warm milk, it goes...

Dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons" This first lines has already break my heart. But I continue reading.

"You can only type with a computer and always mess up the programs in the PC, and cries in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help restore the programs.

You always leave the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to lead you the way.

You always suffer from cramp during your menstrual period each month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramps at your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that is no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sand... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, before I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die..."

My tears drops on the letter, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resumed my reading...

"And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there, with your favorite bread and fresh milk..."

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight to the glass of milk and the piece of bread... Oh, I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tend to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows in every form, even a very little form, it can never been modelled, it can be the most incurious form... Flowers, romantic moments are only buckish forms on the surface of the relationship.

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. No one will find their life worth living, we have to make it worth living ourself. What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.

missing you guys,

pear

It's really sweet story. but perhaps cos i'm too much of a cynic, i couldn't bring myself to believe that this story is true. because the letter is too romantic for a guy whom the story claims is unromantic and insensitive.

And after experiencing one heartache after another, one should finally admit that it's not because my boyfriend is not romantic anymore... it's cos the relationship no longer feels the same. i think there's a difference between not feeling the blush of love, and not feeling like you are part of each other's lives.

Or from experiencing disappointments to plain indifference.

Like when you don't really care if "call you later" means later in the day or 1 day later or 2 days or 1 week or 1 year.

Not saying that this applies to anyone lah. just a thought.

I miss yoooou pear!