I had a great weekend! :)

Before last week, i was really unhappy about my messed up commitments. and about brandon. cos he seemed pissed with me. i was pissed at him too. we were both pissed at each other. but now we're good! he helped me move in and cleaned my room heehee yay! bet i got the cleanest room in e block woohoooooo

Yayeeee my bf is the best ever mushymushymushgagsgag.

And we spent a long weekend together. made gardenia bread/margarine/garlic spread/herb cheese/ham sandwiches + chips and head out to watch Ballet Under The Stars at Fort Canning on friday. previewed NDP on saturday. and on both occasions i forgot to bring my bimbo camera. boo :( so without any photos, there's nothing much i could say. i'm a lousy blogger. but i had a FANTABULOUS time :)

Oh right. i watched 40-year-old virgin too. it's a downright GUY'S movie stuffed with unbelievably lame and crude jokes. they had to include things like fuck you! in every single sentence they say and it's supposed to be funny. like just pick up the fucking phone and fucking call that fucking bitch, fuck you. or things like you know why i know you're gay? cos you like coldplay. and if you're a male watching this with a roomful of similar males, you are supposed to roar with laughter. and since this happens all the time you are going to laugh like crazy throughout the entire show.

But it's fun enough to watch with him. this is the kinda flick which you shut off your brain, sit back with a beer in your hand and watch. oh and you have to THINK like a male (breast which feels like sandbag is supposed to be funny).

But brainless as it seems, there's apparently a lesson to be learnt from this movie yo: sex is a choice. if you are a virgin there's nothing to be ashamed off. like wow. i guess for those americans it's like a deep philosophy or something. do they feel like aliens if they haven't had sex before 16? when we watch it it's like whaaaaaaaat. question mark question mark. half the people here won't even see the point to it.

Ok. end of what i did over the weekend post.
LingS | 12:18 AM

Warning: this is an extremely ranty & complainish post. the following content might make you feel uncomfortable, only if you have a problem with people airing their personal opinions.

Gah! i feel so shitty. my schedules are so messed up and i don't even know how it happened.

A teeny complain about this FTC thingy (aka full-time counselor for freshmen orientation camp). nobody told us what's the job scope and commitment for this. it's just like sign up if you wanna be FTC. then someone asked me if i can make it for the camp. yeah of cos i can. so i'm in. then one week from fwoc itself i was told that you gotta be present every minute of your non-sleeping time 7 days a week for 2 weeks. oh god.

Obviously, this is my fault because i should have asked before enthusiastically volunteering myself and causing all this confusion among the block comm and FTC prospects haha i'm sorry everyone. hmmmph but stilllll i wished someone could have told me earlier instead of now. if it's that important to make sure 100% commitment.

Ok then move on to jazz. when i signed up for jazz it was told that there would be 8 LESSONS and 2 PERFORMANCES. if you are normal like me, you would think ok it's fine. 1 day per week right? no problem. it started mid-june so i thought it should end BY NOW.

But there's no fine print to tell me that practices would be extended to 4 times a week and we would keep accepting events as and when we like. this has become the most erractic commitment of my life cos i kinda feel like i'm now at their beck and call. i mean, i wouldn't mind if i've got nothing better to do. but now i have rag dance, i have fwoc, i don't think i can be blamed for not being able to commit for things which i haven't promised for in the first place.

Still, sometimes i pang sei rag to go jazz. then at times i pang sei jazz to go for rag. sometimes people are very nice about it, they'll ask me so how's rag? tired or not? take care of yourself things like that. but not everyone is understanding about it, and i gotta take the looks from these people. it's real nice that you are free and able to come for practices everyday. sorry i cannot. i can't do much about it. bleh, but that's how people are. when they don't understand your situation they like to blame you and feel all high and mighty cos they are free from what you face.

So if you can figure it out, rag dance + jazz dance + fwoc all happens at the same time.

At least i feel more relieved after stepping down from FTC, which is a gigantic commitment. (even though i was still reluctant). thanks pearlie for talking to me :)

Bah. i'm helpless about my situation. and i know people are unhappy that i'm helpless about my situation too. it's so weird. when i'm free i'm really damn eng lah. but when i'm not, all things start crashing together.

Shit i just remembered that i also got seniors performance and i need to make sure got enough people come. and some people still cannot make up their minds whether they wanna come or not. wah lau!!!!!!

End of ranty post.
LingS | 12:43 AM

Have you ever felt this way before? that you feel really unhappy at the moment, but you're not sure whether you are entitled to feel unhappy at all... whether the situation calls for such unhappiness... maybe it's just your own problem, it's your own fault that you feel unhappy. you have no right to blame anyone or anything for such unhappiness.

And then you start to find excuses for that someone/something that caused the unhappiness. But that doesn't make you feel any better at all. no matter what excuses you could think of, the bottom line is, you're still unhappy.

This is like a very complicated mathematics sum. i can't figure out how to solve this problem.

When you go to bed every night feeling sad and wake up in a better mood but know that you'll go back to bed feeling sad again... you gotta do something about it.

But i dunno what to do. i'm scared. that i can't do nothing about this anymore :(

I wish you'd help me.
LingS | 12:34 AM

i like him

Nothing. i just think he's cute. i don't even know what he's saying.
LingS | 8:26 PM

Some crazy girl has been calling my house and telling my parents bad things about me. hahahahha it's quite funny. i mean i'm kinda bothered in some way also lah. but still it's quite amusing. i thought that only celebrities like britney spears or lee kuan yew get flamed but i got flamed too! it's so cool. i'm like a celebrity!

And i never got to listen to her you know. she likes to talk to my parents. sometimes i receive calls from a "private number" who wouldn't speak. maybe it's someone i know, who's afraid that i might recognize her voice.

Hahahah anyway if you think you can mess around with me you're so WRONG! because i'm like PAP i'm going to call to police. you take care of yourself.


Just came back from seniors camp as well. woooo it was lotsa fun!! even though we all got burnt haha... in some way i've always dread orientations cos you have to make the effort to get to know people and play stupid games with them to humiliate yourself. and they'll always want me to pair up with a boy that i dunno. gah boys are stinky throw rocks at them.

But this time i got to play stupid games with the people that i've been living with for the past year hahaha it's so funny cos we semi pretended not to know each other. there was this game that we had to guy-gal pair up and introduce ourselves to each other. me and albert foo were like hi i'm from e blk. omg you too? omg we're gonna be staying in the same blk!! omg how cool!!! hahaha ya ok we're lame.

Anuja, cheryl and i kept up with our diva behavior throughout the entire camp. we're always fashionably late/ wandered around by ourselves/ pretended to complain about icky things. hahaha wheeee! i think we're gonna have much more fun when fwoc comes!
LingS | 2:22 PM

This horrid flu won't go away!!! boohooohoohoohoooo.......

My health condition has taken a dip these days. first swollen gum. now fever and flu and the WORKS. so SUAY. i think i've become thinner a bit.

But nevermind. i had a relatively good day today though. dropped by at chinatown and BLEW my pay on some materials, but i'm happy! then went for rag dance practice and had a look at one of our costumes. hehe i think it looks kinda cute! the "costume designers" took my measurements and they said i could come back and try it in tomorrow! so exciting! since they're making one set of my measurements means i'll get to wear it right? right? i hope so!

But since i'm sick today i only could sit around and watch. yawns. haha but grace tiang and i discovered a huge pile of Men's Health and Seventeen magazines nonchalantly lying around looking like they don't belong to anyone..... so we each kop-ed one with zizou the head butt hero on the cover. sniggles.
LingS | 12:24 AM

He's leaving on a short trip soon. i realised it's awful to be not talking. i wished we could trash things out soon. but like pearline said, i'm a coward too. even though i have a lot of things in my heart that i wanna spit them out, i'll swallow all of them back in at the crucial moment. and they'll all be buried deepdeep down in my heart again. gah help me i'm such an embarrassement.

I think some people read too much into msn nicks. erm... yeah of cos i still love him very much if that's what you're wondering :S


Ok anyway i promised to share about Singapore Soka Association right. it's a Buddhist society that promotes the understanding and practice of Nichiren Buddhism. it was founded in 13th century Japan by a sage called Nichiren. it basically works on the Buddhism principle of respect for the dignity of life. of cos i'm quoting all these from a pamphlet i got.

It's quite surprising that i've never heard of this organisation before in my entire life, and neither has most of my friends. but apparently it has been around for more than 30 years, with 25 ooo members... it's a very well established organisation. aye, i've been ignorant.

On the day of the 2nd performance, i had a little chat with one of the leaders there. i asked him what's the main difference between this Japanese buddhism and the form of buddism Singaporeans mostly practise.

Buddhism first originated in India, that's indisputable. from what he shared with me, i have the idea that basically they both differ in the way of practice. nichiren buddhism doesn't burn offerings or require you to be a vegetarian. i got the impression that they mainly do chantings. in other words, it is a very rationalised form of the religion. he said people are getting smarter and they are starting to question the purpose behind each practice. ok, how true. so they're only doing things that they feel is reasonable.

I guess there are different degrees as to how you want to commit to your religion. some buddhists go vegetarian entirely, some partly, some eat meat all the time, but can you dismiss them as non-buddhists just cos they eat meat? hmm i wonder. and melf was wondering if christians should go clubbing.

My own opinion is that all these will depend on your own interpretation of your religion. like for the leader i spoke to (shucks i didn't even get his name... sorry...), he feels that religion should be something that serves the people, instead of the people serving the religion. hmmm. now isn't that interesting, when you compare this with the beliefs of other religion.

Of cos there could be other significant differences between both forms of buddhism, like maybe the faith or the teachings. but i didn't go into that. for more information you could visit the website here (wow they should pay me for this).

Hmm. i'm always curious about different religions. my family practises Buddhism so i guess you could call me a Buddhist too. but i always wonder how all these religion thingy come about and it often intrigues me the way people would go to extremes just because of a book/rules/guidelines/whatever that was written long long long long long time ago.
LingS | 12:24 AM

Yarghh i'm incredibly sick now. this flu has developed into full-blown fever and headache and runny nose and sore throat and even mild stomachache. it sucks to be hanging around at home feeling drowsy and miserable. gah!!!!!! how could i be so sick now. i'm a teeney bit worried that i won't be able to make it for seniors camp :(
LingS | 7:59 PM

Because of some reason, i think someone now won't talk to me. in that case, i shan't talk to someone too. i hope someone is happy, because someone has hurt me a lot now. enjoy your trip, someone, if you're reading this. i will enjoy seniors camp a lot.


On a different note now, i kena flu again. i'm lousy i always kena flu. and i was supposed to take 1 flu tablet at a time, but in my partly drowsy state, i went ahead to take 2 tablets instead. oh man i think i'm crazy. i'm typing this half unconscious and i've been half unconscious since noon.

I can't wait to go back to hall and play with all of my friends! yay! *hugs i miss you guys so much. and i don't like to stay home and do nothing cos i think being in the dormant state makes me ill. like now. and it gives me too much free time to think about unhappy things! boo! i lose faith easily.
LingS | 8:13 PM

Yay the britney spears slave trilogy performances is OVER. hmm actually still got some more lah but it'd be at least 2 more weeks till the next one. urghh i'm kinda sick of this slutty dance haha.... the song is the skankiest you can find.

I didn't really get people to come cos this is really a small performance and i'm going to have bigger ones that i'll force you all to come hahaha but anyway thank you to those who dropped by to show support/ take photos and videos for us!!! hahaha...

These guys are part of the crew :)

But after looking at the photos i discovered that actually 2 looks cuter. i dunno why i didn't notice him before. then as i stare at this photo longer i realised that 3 is the cutest lah!!! hahaha look at her bian zui (pout). anyway this is soka's urban passion. they are a bunch of super zai hip hoppers!

Quan zhang, part of the cast. we were supposed enter at a club scene and flirt with him on stage. i dunno what is it with me but i always kinda arrowed to flirt with some guy on stage. i had to flirt with austin during the krv-choir thing haha! gah. i miss that rapist.

From left: yenlin, wingyee, serena, me, jiaxin, huirei, trudi

Wingyee! i cut my hair with her :)

Serena! is so chio :)

Jiaxin! is so cute :)

Trudi! i thought this was a really artistic photo haha....

Had a great time dancing with this bunch of girls :) even though i only knew them for about 2 months. however i'm sure that the friendship forged will go a long way! :D

LingS | 3:42 PM

So what do you think i can do when things are not the same anymore. maybe i can just keep quiet and hope that it will go back to how it used to be. but obviously that is not possible. but making noise is not going to make things better because.... there is just no point anymore.
LingS | 12:49 AM

Hey everyone now that the final jazz performance is approaching fast, i do not have practices anymore! and you know what that means! MORE FREEEEEEEEEEE TIME!!!!!! so now that i'm much free-er (except for having rag dance 3 times a week), please ask me out ok? if not i very bored you know. hehe.

Eh and i think my wisdom tooth is coming out. ah finally i got some wisdom. and my bottom right gum is swollen like a hill!! it's damn super painful :( i'm very sad. but i'm scared of seeing the dentist! i've heard too much horror stories, what if he has to cut open my jaw or something and i'll bleed and bleed and that'll be extremely painful noooooooooooooooooooooooo. i'm genuinely horrified. please let my teeth be ok :'( haiz.

I'm such a scaredy cat. lemme tell you what else i'm scared of. i'm scared of going into the deep end of the pool. i'm scared when siyong carried me to stand on his shoulder. i'm scared of breaking my bones. i'm scared that i will find no job when i graduate. brrrrrrr i think i shall go hide under my pillow now. byebye.
LingS | 12:01 AM

Hey yall it's been more than a week since i've blogged cos my puny acer laptop was down, that useless piece of machine pui.

But fortunately, a lot of exciting things have been happening last week to keep me occupied even without the company of my 2nd best non-human pal (i believe my best non-human friend is my handphone).

Other than having dance practices literally every single day, i finally had a performance on sunday at Singapore Soka Association (SSA) and monday at NUS for CAC camp. i never knew SSA existed until now. i think it's an organisation that promotes a Japanese form of Buddhism, i dunno exactly what haha... i'll go find out more and let yall know. anyway, it kinda functions like a church. it holds regular meetings for prayers and discussions, as well as activities/interest groups/support groups etc for its members. i wonder if they need to pay a nominal fee or something hmmm ok but anyway i think it's not bad. i spotted a reeeeeeally cute guy from their hip hop performance group, and when i saw him shutting his eyes and concentrating real hard in his prayers i wished i were in secondary school again so that we could be more compatible hahahahhahha.

And brandon is very bad. he refused to come and watch me cos he thinks tampines is very far. boo. :( pearlie help me scold him.

And he took leave the whole of last week too so i could see him almost everyday wheeheeeee but now he's back to work :( i almost couldn't get used to it.

And i bought a cute swim suit so i could go swimmmmmmm all day i like cos i wanna show it off, although i really can't swim. :s (psst i can float)


And finally me and him and him and me could be going off to fry a kite on saturday. how exciting babeh! finally do something out of just slacking around. yay fry kite fry kite wheeeheee so childish but i love to fry kite~ i've only fried a kite once in my life.

So exciting! then maybe i'll come back and blog about it. 2dae dahhhhhling n i go n fry kite and the weather is sho good. then dahhhling say i veli pretty then i veli happy. dahhling oso veli pretty ok? then we went 2 eat icecream. dahhhling had a chocolate icecream n i ate a strawberry one. so delicious. dahhhhling and i r veli happy. then me n dahhhling went 2 watch Scary Movie 4. it was veli scary. i scream n scream but dahhhling say dun b scared he'll be here 2 protect me. i hear oreadi veli happy. i luv dahhhhling muacksmuacks. after dat we went home. dahhhling say the bed is too small. yes dahhhling i agree that it's too small *blush. life is so lovely with my dahhhling.

The End.
LingS | 12:42 AM