I must be getting Cs for my final papers!

Because despite been doing okayish well for my midterms and essays, with As and B+s (or B++ in one case), bell-curve standard somemore ok! I end up getting Bs and below for these final grades. I even tried being a nerd by going to the library to study, and made sure someone signs attendance for me for tutorials that i didn't go. My attendance (and diligence!) is A++++++!

I'm so lousy!

Then let's look at my religion module. I was preparing to SU it so i skipped half of my tutorials and didn't bother to say anything in my group presentation. I must have gotten a C for class participation. I took 1 day to read through my big textbook for finals but i must have gotten an A for the paper cos i got a B as a final grade! C+A divide by 2 = B right? Shit i should have banked in on this module and made sure i go for tutorials!!! AAAArggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

There's such history for me to score well for modules i don't study much for.

Ok those modules that i B in midterms still B in the end lah. Whatever. Now you know my lousy CAP. And the amazing thing is i never fail to maintain this shitty CAP in all semesters despite the wide range of modules, degree of freedom (means how much time i have to study), and amount of effort i put in. That is why i persistently wonder if profs mark papers properly or just burn them and go for a holiday.

I think i'll just slack around next sem and see what happens! whee hee!
LingS | 12:47 AM

One of the favourite lines of the people in my teevee goes something like the more you try to protect yourself, the more you're going to hurt your partner. I think that's kinda true. But each time i get hurt, the protective layer around me gets much thicker. That's how i am. I see that love has a prisoner's dilemma too! You don't wanna love the other person more than he loves you because you don't wanna lose. But do you know how much he loves you in the first place?

Aiya. I miss dondon :( And it's only the first dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
LingS | 5:21 PM

Merry Christmas!

Dondon will be away on Christmas all the way after new year's day. That's kinda sad. But i'm even sadder that i won't even get to say bye to him. Was supposed to meet on sunday, i purposely told lish i won't make it for the second caroling session, but turns out that we couldn't meet cos he was busy packing. Promised to meet this early afternoon... he didn't pick up my call cos was still sleeping. Now it's too late to see him cos i already promised lish to go for today's session, which i know she'll need people for.

I know i totally sound like a schoolgirl complaining about her boyfwen but my boyfwen rarr i'm so angry with him sometimes. I often think if he cares why doesn't he even try to make the effort to do this and that and this and that but sometimes that's really unfair to him cos of my numerous expectations. Can we really force someone to meet our own expectations? I know i don't measure up to some of his expectations as well. Too bad we just have to feel disappointed with each other.

And i realize i only blog about him when i'm feeling angry. There are many more happy times with dondon just that i don't blog about them. Sometimes when i write about sad stuff some people think we are going to break up. But you know we really are not. Dondon is a great guy but i'm angry at him now. HMMMMMMMMPH!!!!!! You don't care that i care that you don't care!

Bye i'm going for caroling.
LingS | 3:34 PM

You know what i used to be very proud of my sites and banners. Not that i designed them from scratch but at least i started from the simplest template and added and edited pictures and colours and fonts myself. I used to think they were perfect for me, you know, being pinkish and all. But now they all look absolutely childish to me, i dislike them so much that it freaks me out. Especially my HoneyMilkTea site now which is only 7 months old. Gee. I guess i get tired of my own designs fast. Gee.
LingS | 12:45 AM

Always feel like i'm the only one making the effort. Very tired. Feel like taking a rest.
LingS | 5:09 PM

Have you ever felt like, you want something to happen REAL bad, that you can't wait for the time to come. You tell yourself if it happens your life would be perfect. But when the time really came you start to feel like it's no big deal after all. You feel pretty much like before anything happened.

I'm looking forward to something big. Like LIFE CHANGING big. But i'm pretty sure i'll be disappointed again if it happens. Man, i'm too used to disappointments because i get my hopes up all the time.

Although i still hope it happens. And part of the reason is that i'm feeling so stuck in my life with no advancements and absolutely nothing to look forward to.

I want something wonderful to happen!!!!
LingS | 2:38 AM