I was a waitress today! Teehee! Very fun! My favourite activity is to refill ice water cos it's the easiest job hahha!

Ok then i got home and was rummaging my drawer when i found this old love-confession letter written by a guy (wahhhhhhh ok. i forgot it existed. maybe got more. haha!) and in it he said i was a source of happiness and cheerfulness. Then i remembered dondon telling me long ago how he liked that i was always cheerful and able to make him smile. Then i got really depressed.

Cos i realized how MUCH i've changed over the years. I've lost the motivation to be cheerful ALL the time. There seem to be increasingly more things to worry and feel sad about, that when i think about them i often present a grumpy face to the world. Andand it gets worse because now that i work it's even harder to be cheerful. SO many things to deal with: the lack of experience, the politics, the gossips, time management, tired factor..... wah! It's so hard to be a grown-up. There are more opportunities for me to lose my temper and be a biatch right upfront in your face. So if people like my cheerfulness, maybe now they won't like me anymore!
LingS | 2:30 AM

Although i've made my decision, i can't help but remain a little voice at the back of my head nagging that perhaps it's a wrong one. I have to keep reminding myself of the money factor; i'm not willing to take a pay cut. And the confidence that i am much more capable than this job.

People have been asking me to go for the experience and interest. But my current job is also a form of experience and interest. Of course, it doesn't beat flying, but i ultimately want to end up in the hospitality industry. Some people think i'm ridiculous for not taking it up cos they would jump at the opportunity, but.....

Why settle with 1.6k to fly only to Japan and US when there's an opportunity to fly all over the world for more than 4k? Although not that the opportunity would easily come to me again...

My plan now is to try to achieve something on my current job first. Wait till my probation is up and see if i can get a promotion and a pay rise. Hmmph. Working 10-11hours a day is tough, plus no time to hangout with friends and boyfriend... but we'll wait and see if something better will come along :)
LingS | 12:42 AM

I saw tay ping hui! hahhaha he was here at the event. He looks just like on TV! Tall and good-looking, but i didn't go and take picture with him lah hahha later look like sua gu kia. Not as if he's jay chou. I saw daren tan (some superstar guy) too. Not so good-looking, and kinda skinny and short hahahahaha. Yay more events please, maybe one day i'll really see jay chou.
LingS | 12:07 AM

Sorry to disappoint but i've decided to stay in my weird unexpected job. The reason is very simple: i'll only get to earn $800 basic for 3 months, then subsequently less than 2k for 2 years, and this is the amount before cpf.

I'm being very realistic here. But i don't see the point of embarking on a career that allows you to stay at home half the time (which is why you earn so little because your allowances is proportional to your frequency of flights).

You can also say that my pride prompted me to reject because i felt i could do so much better than this job; a job that only requires 3 'o' level credits with an equivalent paycheck. Sorry if i'm being elitist or whatever you wanna call it but if i decide to fly i hope to fly with the best, and not just make do with something that happened to come along.

It did kinda boosted my ego when i discovered that i've been selected because seriously i gave superficial bimbotic answers like "i like to travel and meet people" and wow i actually got chosen for that. But anyway i think a lot of girls rejected their offer that's why they took so long to reach me hahahhaha too late!!!! In fact i already found out about their pay before my final interview but the offer made me reconsider again but still same decision anyway i'm going to sleep tomorrow got event need to sell membership if you wanna join come cos got free flow drinks and buffet but pay $500++ thankyougoodnight.
LingS | 4:08 AM

Ok i need to sleep but this is so -_- that i have to blog.

I just got offered a job in JAL as cabin attendant. It's funny cos i applied for it like a month ago, and NOW they call me. wtf. Not that i think my current job is the most fantastical of the fantastic, but i already started at it, i'd hate to quit halfway without achieving anything. Plus i'd hate to disappoint my boss, i think treats me quite well.

Sigh! How! I know i can do so much better than being a cabin attendant. But, get paid to travel! It's so hard to reject. For now as a management trainee, i feel like i'm playing pretend as a child. You know like you and a few neighbours or cousins pretending that you are in a restaurant, you eat plastic toy food and drink from empty plastic cups. Then someone will pretend to own the 'restaurant', welcoming his 'guests' and cooking these plastic thingys. The things i do don't feel real to me. Like standing behind a sushi counter watching and talking to the chef cutting sashimi, or bringing guests to their seats and asking them how's the food. I didn't know what i wanted to do after graduation but to be honest all these were totally unexpected. They feel surreal, not necessarily in a good way but i have yet to get used to my new life. I gained so much knowledge in how people run f&b (which again has nothing to do with economics).

Should i give up my weird unexpected job for something i wanted long ago?
LingS | 3:15 AM

Today the boss got a little drunk, and he started telling me and a few other lucky girls who happen to be at the reception, stories of how he set up the company. He doesn't do this for a living; the restaurant was only set up about 2 years ago. So i asked an all important question: why F&B?

He replied:"Only one reason. Insert-name-of-his-son"

Jaws drop.

Apparently his son had wanted to set up a small F&B business after he graduated, but as a long term plan boss decided he needs a decent sizable establishment instead of a dodgy little watery pub, so that was how everything began.

Geez. Like Korean drama can?? Rich young punk (who also happens to be good-looking)'s dad owns the place, young punk becomes undercover, working as a waiter while no one knows his actual identity. Then comes along the 野蛮 (sassy) princess who fights with him everyday but they eventually fall in love and everyone discovers his secret identity. Fairytale right? Except that it didn't happen ahhahahha.
LingS | 2:19 AM

LingS | 11:40 PM

My life has taken a sudden drastic turn.

I never considered that my life would turn out this way. Working 10 hours a day is no joke. Working till 1 or 2am is not funny. Working with a boss who likes to scold people fucker! is scary. Of course i never kena you fuck up! before, but must be careful.

In fact, when i said i wanna work in a hotel, i never really thought of how it's gonna be like in reality. In my brain was like, dress up glamglam, walk around, type in your computer then go home and tell people you have a great job.

In reality, there are 101 things to take care of. There are so many details that you could have missed out, you need a few pages long of checklist to go through everyday.

It's very mind-boggling.

And i'm only involved in a part of what a normal hotel would comprise of. Which is more difficult? F&B or rooms? Now i understand why hotels don't hire rookies because without experience, you are nothing. zero. I am zero! What you read in school will never apply (economics is a joke).

Plus, in this world, handling relationships is a veryveryvery important skill. I really dunno how to manage people. I only know how to make friends. When i have the authority it makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable.

I've been trying to be extra friendly to break into little cliques of people. Thankfully, i find that most of them open up quite easily, and a lot of them tell me people who work here, even the managers, don't usually stick around for very long. Not a very comforting piece of news. They tell me lots of gossips as well-a part of the job that i look forward to lol.

But people who work in the office upstairs is a different story. You gotta put on a mask every time you step in. I feel so much at ease with the young punks working at the floor.

Anyway, i'm handling mostly the PR side now. Please come and visit me if you fancy a good and expensive dinner, or some reasonably priced drinks at the bars. Can choose indoors outdoors ok!!! Even got cafe del mar-style sofa huts.
LingS | 3:00 PM

Yay i've got a job!

I've come to terms that big hotels don't hire rookies. In this industry, it's experience that counts, not so much paper. So i'm starting out as a management trainee in a... sizable restaurant somewhere. Hahaha i dunno if it's safe to reveal, what if my boss stalks my blog??

But well it's a nice big poshy kinda place from what i've heard and seen online. Haven't toured the place yet, but it looks like a mansion with a bar, balcony, rooftop, outdoor dining, garden, even waterfalls, pools and a live band! Sounds cool right, but i haven't seen any of these things yet, except for the japanese dining area. I'm excited but nervous, as would any person on her first day of work/school i guess, you wonder if you'd have any friends, or live as a outcast forever eating lunch alone. Pffffft.

Andand, being a bum for the past month with nothing better to do, i naturally googled this place for extended periods of time. Many people who reviewed complained that it was expensive and portions were little. I dunno, i thought this is what people would usually expect from fine dining??? :s

Arghh. I just hope my suagu-ness won't give me away. Butbut, i hope i get to learn how to mix drinks at the bar, then i'll finally know what makes a Sex on a Beach or a Blowjob (merely typing them gave me cheap thrills), then i'll tell you. Exciting lah! Do you think it'll happen?
LingS | 4:03 AM

Seriously, do you genuinely think that by offering me your criticisms at a time when i'm feeling down, i would truly feel better? I've seen girls on TV who cry and whine but then after being given 2 tight slaps they suddenly wake up and become superwoman. Unfortunately that doesn't happen to me.

Of course, it's all in good will. Perhaps your criticisms are not meant for me to feel better. But you know, i think guys really just don't get it! When you're in one of those "shit i feel shitty" days, it's pointless telling guys because they won't understand why you're telling them this. They think Am i supposed to provide you with a SOLUTION?

CLEO says when you complain to your guy about your boss, he thinks you are asking him to poison the boss.

Really, many a times, there are no solutions. Like "why do good things never happen to me?" Tina would say "aiyo don't worry you'll be fine. Let's go sushi tei". Dondon said "cos you never want them hard enough". It's not a guy's fault, it's just that they are wired to think differently.

That's why gays make so much more sense. They understand each other so much better, i think they are generally more harmonious and happier than heterosexuals. Homosexuals are more natural, if you think, er, non-biologically.
LingS | 3:32 PM

Ok, that was a whole lot of rant. Maybe i should be more thankful that i am healthy, clean, safe and living well. I mean, i'm usually generally a happy person. If i forget about trying to achieve more happiness, i may actually become more happy! You see how it works???
LingS | 2:17 AM

Ok! I've come to conclude that nothing good ever happens to my life! When i somehow somewhat manage to muster some sort of an ambition which really means a lot to me and i really really really want it... i will never get it. I will frequently land into a second choice, or something i 'can settle with', which is not bad too............

Then again, nothing bad ever happens to me either. I've never gotten into an accident before. Nor failed an exam. I haven't lost someone important (choi!). My life is just very unexciting and bland. I can totally foresee my life now. You see, i have been the exceptionally normal kid who does pretty ok in her studies. She scrapes past her papers with fairly good grades, gets into a local university, does something 'practical' like economics, and graduates. She will then find a job in an office and work all her life inside her cubicle. She will get married at 30, have 2 kids, go on a holiday to Bangkok/Hong Kong/insert-names-of-typical-holiday-spots-which-aren't-too-exciting once in a while, retire at 65, get cancer at 80 then dies.

It's not that i never tried to do something exciting to my life! These plans simply just don't materialize. Dondon says it's cos i didn't want it hard/long enough. How hard is hard and how long is long? Hmm. How to measure???

I think, when some people say life is fair, the only way i could think of it true is how nothing ever extreme happens to me. The most intense pain i've ever felt would be on occasions when i don't get what i terribly wanted. Fair enough?
LingS | 12:31 AM