Aiyo tat says i'm so bitchy. hmmph. it's true!!!! i need to reflect upon myself and stop being so bitchy.

So hall production has finally come to an end. it has been a long and crazy ride, but i felt like i've completed so much more in these 3 months than in a usual semester. i couldn't focus my attention on anything else except production lines, production songs, production schedules.... production everything. production has screwed up my life. my laundry was undone, floor uncleaned, assignments uncompleted, readings unread... i couldn't even manage to take my medication on time haha...

And people ask me if it's worth it. i question myself a lot too. i've given up so much to do this, be it studying time, resting time, time with friends, even my health etcetc... all this for a single hall production.

But i didn't do this for the "glory of the hall" or anything like that. i did it for myself. because i wanted to, not because others asked me to or because they need people. i think that's how it should be like in hall. we all wanna do so many things at the same time, how do we have space to squeeze in additional things that OTHERS want us to do for them?

After dedicating my entire heart and soul into production, it was really heartening to have people coming up to tell me how much they've enjoyed the performance, and that they really liked my song etc... it made me feel that all the blood and sweat was worth it :)

Thank you everyone who came :) jian alvin (i think that's his name) bra wheegeok vivien charlotte yb and the E block people specially des dil porky lish tina yow albert etc. your support meant a lot to me :D especially during the last few days when i was feeling super sick and shitty... the familiar faces in the audience drove me on. xie xie da jia :D thank you everyone and everything else who/which made this possible. thank you the force above.

Whew! i've never felt so drained and tired in my entire life. rag dance was only half as taxing as this. one whole week of being sick and skipping lessons and camping in the theatre. i felt like fainting in fong seng on friday night. in my half conscious state i took jojojoel's (the one who taught me how to sing) vroom vroom and totally humiliated myself by screaming at him arghhhhhhhh i wanna dig a hole a bury myself inside now. in addition to singing off key in his face i now feel a little more paiseh when i see him now. yarghhhhh.

Ok at least i don't have to see him everyday now. i'm glad production is over. i feel so relieved, like i can finally put down this huge burden. i feel a bit sad too, but i'm not emotional about it (like aeron who cried haha). i'll miss the random shit the cast and ensemble come up with everyday. i'll miss suffy's diva director antics, bryna's cheeriness, nat's auntiness, the munchkins' cuteness, joel shouting his ass off at our singing, tim's forever smiling face, even the rambutans' diva-ness... ahhaha...

Yay. i'll try to put up photos soon. :)
LingS | 4:49 PM